While we were there we went to a graduation for one of our dear friends. He graduated from a Christian Rehab Center. The service was amazing. The testimonies of these addicts are so real and so scary, but with the help of Jesus Christ they are clean and sober. Our firend, Bernie is such a warm and loving person, and it was such a blessing to see his transformation. I couldn't help but think of my mother who is out there somewhere probably drunk and high, slowly killing herself. I love my mom and it breaks my heart to know that she is doing this, but now that I am a mother myself I can't allow my children to be exposed to her and her ways. The hardest thing I have ever had to do is forgive her for the terrible things she put me through growing up. And honestly I don't know if I have completely let go of all of it. I have said it outloud that I forgive her and I pray for her often, but it hurts sometimes when I experience some things with my girls and I know that as a child I was short changed. Am I feeling sorry for myself? It is just so hard for me to understand how a mother can do that her child. It makes me sad often, and that is why I feel like I haven't totally forgiven her. Please pray for me in this matter, also please remember my mother Linda in your prayers I know she needs them.
Thanks for the shoulder...
| posted by Jessica at 8:10 PM
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had this to say:
What a great encouragement, to read that there are still "real" people out there who suffer, but give a greater legacy to their own children. I pray that there always be JOY for your family : )
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Angie had this to say:
Jess, I am and will always pray for you girlie! I hate to think that you had a less than memorable childhood. You are such a great person. I am proud of you for overcoming so much heartache and becoming an awesome mommy. I love you! *sniff...sniff*
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Sandy had this to say:
Well, my dear, I too think you are a great Mom. Perhaps you learned that from your Mom, what not to do, you know? I will keep you and your mother in my prayers! Love you!
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had this to say:
Your story is familiar to me. I've never had to deal with addiction from my parents, but I too was short changed in lots and lots of ways. I too have forgiven, but we never forget do we? Feeling sorry for ourselves is human nature. We all do it and are guilty of it. One thing you have to realize Jess is that all the trials you went thru have made you the strong woman you are today. And from those lessons learned is what you are instilling and will continue to instill in your beautiful daughters. I vowed that I would never make the mistakes my parents made and that has made me the person I am today. I guess in a way I can thank them. You keep your head up and keep strong and without hesitation I will pray for your mom. (((HUGS)))
P.S. This weekend was sooooooo awesome. Wasn't it??? Oh and when is Jeremiah going to sign that record deal?-
Lori had this to say:
Why does everyone make me cry at work? You are one of the most loving women that I know and will probably ever know. You may have had a rough childhood but look at the wonderful mommy that you have become. I give God all the glory for that! He can do amazing things. I love you girl!!
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Amy Ploss had this to say:
I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. God never gives us more than we can handle. I guess he knew you could handle it all. We all grow stronger from life's experiences, the good ones and expecially the bad ones. You are a very strong woman, not to mention hilarious, and I will keep you in my prayers.
In reference to the record deal that Elmo mentioned, I will be the first to buy the single!!
love ya!
